Well, of course he did…

I have been working on a post that I had planned to publish tomorrow about my plans for the weekend.  Yesterday, LK called and asked if he could possibly have Jack for two days this weekend so that he could take him out of the state to visit his family.  In asking, he told me about the nearest hospital to his family’s home, the name of the pediatric cardiologist and the plan for Jack should anything happen.  I was stunned by his preparation and said I’d think about it but didn’t see any reason that I couldn’t trust him to protect Jack for two days.

This afternoon, LK called to discuss the settlement agreement and stunned me with a 90 minute conversation in which he was gracious, respectful and appreciative of all I have done to raise Jack alone.  He explained why his heart has changed and he has been so involved lately, when in the beginning he couldn’t be.  I have been wondering about many of the things he told me for a long time and was unable to trust his motivations without the information he shared.  He convinced me that his feelings towards Jack were real.

I had begun to plan a weekend getaway for myself and was trying to decide between a “staycation” or a four star spa visit.  I was preparing myself to miss Jack terribly but enjoy my time alone to relax and recuperate after two years of full-time mommying.  I was preparing to have some me time.

But tonight, LK informed me, after I refused to remove the “moral’s clause” in the papers (which prohibits overnight guests of the opposite sex) that he’d like to talk to me about something.  He’s “met someone” and he’d like to take her with him and Jack to visit his family this weekend.  She has met Jack once before but never stayed overnight and has been completely respectful of the situation and supported and encouraged LK to increase his commitment to Jack. 

There is a lot of other information that I could include here, but suffice it to say, he was incredibly sensitive to my feelings and understood that his allowing them to meet in the past was a mistake without having told me.  He wants to have an honest relationship moving forward so that we can best co-parent.

She’s a “great person who would be safe and helpful around Jack” and LK would like us to meet before this weekend.  He understands that allowing her around Jack without my consent is a bad idea and disrespectful.

I was going to publish a post tomorrow about my weekend plans and my growth in moving towards alone time.  Instead, I’m meeting her.  So I guess I’ll be growing a whole lot more than I thought.  I’m not feeling sad.  Not mad.  Not sure what I’m feeling.  I don’t have any anger towards her and only hope that she is a good person and good to Jack.  And I’m not mad at LK.  I want him to be happy.  And I want Jack to be happy.  And I want to be happy. 

Hmmm.  So this week I have a project that I didn’t plan on, but I think it could help me move towards happiness.  Or I will be in prison tomorrow night.  Do they let prisoners blog?  We’ll see…

Confused and hopeful,


7 thoughts on “Well, of course he did…

  1. WOW! Not sure how I would handle that situation. I’m glad that you are a much stronger person now, so I know you will make the best decision for Jack. Good thing you have grown into a much stronger & wiser women and VERY good for LK that you have! Sounds like he is really trying and that is good for Jack if for no one else. Good luck! Praying for you!!

  2. My goodness! what a big change in the past four hours. I have to say I appreciate his honesty. I also appreciate that he wants/agrees for you to meet the “someone”. Try to keep your claws in until you have gotten a good feeling about things.

    love you, Daddy

  3. Awesome progress, Maggie. I know how tough that struggle is but God will honor a faithful heart and your choice to love your ‘neighbor’… especially when it feels so much easier not to. That’s certainly the path to forgiveness, healing and a new, brighter life.

    Ask God to guard your heart during your meeting with ‘someone’. If I were to offer unsolicited advice, it would be to limit your conversation to the business of caring for Jack for now. If you stray from that, you open the door to all sorts of really rough stuff. I don’t think anyone reading this wants to read a blog called “10 to 20 years to happy.”

    • Thanks, Bryan! I certainly don’t want to change the name of the blog to reflect incarceration!
      I have come a long way and I’m glad that you, and others are able to see it in me and my only concern is Jack and his happiness.

      Thanks for the words of encouragement!

  4. I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know how to react if my situation was as “better” as yours. On the other hand, I appreciate his honesty and hope to God that he will be honest and truthful about his real feelings towards Jack. My little one might be on the other side of town this weekend so maybe we can plan something Saturday night if you are in town.

    • Hey there! I am amazed at his words and actions, and don’t trust them yet, but as God has worked in his life, so has he worked in mine. I am only concerned with Jack and his healthy development, so hopefully part of that is a relationship with his father. We’ll see….

      I’ll call you about the weekend!

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